This is the best new mom advice to make your transition to motherhood as smooth as possible.
As soon as you announce you’re pregnant, family and friends usually don’t hold back on giving you advice. Even strangers will offer it. Sometimes the advice is something you ask for and other times it’s completely unsolicited.
I have always felt that some of the best new mom advice is real and relatable, but not negative or intended to make you feel less than in the stage of life you’re in.
This post breaks down the best new mom advice you’ll find on the internet. It includes everything from the realities of what life looks like with a baby, how self care as a mom might change, the things you can do to advocate for your postpartum mental health and so much more.
As a mom of a two year old, I totally get it. I’ve been through pregnancy, the newborn stage and now toddlerhood so I have quite a bit of new mom advice I can offer. Some of it I wish I had known back in the early postpartum days so I hope it helps you too.
This post is all about new mom advice.
New Mom Advice
1. Always ask for help
Doing this doesn’t mean you’re weak or not cut out to be a mom. It actually means you’re strong as ever. Raising a child takes a village! I can promise you that you won’t be able to do it all and feel sane. So don’t be afraid to speak up when you need help.
2. Befriend an experienced mom
Finding a friend who is a few steps ahead of you in motherhood is a game changer. They will be close enough to what you’re going through to be able to give you sound advice and relate to what you’re going through.
I know from personal experience that mom friends are what helped me through some of the tougher days and phases in my motherhood journey. It was those friends who reassured me that my baby would sleep, that teething sucks but it would pass and that it’s more than ok to need a break.
3. Motherhood is messy
Social media has a way of painting a perfect picture of motherhood. It tends to only show the highlight reel and reflect only the good moments. But to be honest, that’s a lie.
Motherhood comes with every emotion you can imagine and has highs and lows. It’s the greatest journey you will ever experience but having a realistic expectation of what motherhood looks like will help you in the long run.
4. Take time to connect with your spouse
This is so so so important. It can be easy to neglect each other when there’s a little baby in the mix or you’re running kids to and from activities. But, taking time to connect with your spouse and let them know how you’re feeling is vital.
I always recommend going on a date once a month if you’re able to. But if not, just communicating with each other goes a long way.
5. Pick your battles
There’s no doubt that your kids will test you, especially in the toddler stage. You picked the wrong blue plate, they don’t want to wear the shirt you picked out or they want a different snack than what you gave them.
This can be exhausting and frustrating unless you pick your battles. Let the small, silly things go and only push back on things that really matter. For example, let your toddler pick out his plate for dinner, give him two shirt options to choose from or let him pick out his snack.
6. Self care is what you make of it
Self care doesn’t have to be manicures and massages. It can be reading a good book during naptime, taking a bath or working out (if you’re into that). Self care is all about the little things that make you feel good. There’s no right way to practice self care, just make sure you’re doing what makes you feel good.
7. Be present where your feet are
In a world with cell phones and the internet at our fingertips, it can be so hard to be present in the moment. So after you take that picture of your baby, put your phone away and just enjoy being there and soak up the memories.
Sometimes this new mom advice is hard to swallow but the years go by in the blink of an eye. Enjoy every snuggle, each and every kiss and read one more book at night just because.
As a mom of a toddler, I can tell you first hand that kids grow up FAST. The baby who is starting to pull up will soon be walking, running, talking and growing increasingly independent.
8. Your mental health matters
Your mental health is so incredibly important. For not only you but your family too.
Postpartum mental health can be overlooked when you are busy taking care of a newborn. But the truth is, postpartum emotions are a very real and common occurrence among new moms, whether it is your first baby or a second.
It’s normal to feel anxious as you adjust to your new role as mom and the world around you seems to change overnight but it’s also important to know what postpartum warning signs to look out for in case there is something more serious going on like postpartum anxiety or postpartum depression.
Related: 17+ Practical Postpartum Mental Health Tips You Need To Know
9. Don’t forget to eat and stay hydrated
It’s pretty common for new moms to neglect their own eating and drinking due to being overtired, side tracked taking care of their newborn or just not feeling the greatest postpartum. But it’s so important to take care of yourself so that you can keep up with your kids. This not only means self care but also making sure you eat too and are hydrated.
10. Be kind to yourself
Parenthood comes with good days, bad days, tired days and everything in between. This is a brand new season of life that you haven’t experienced yet so take a breath and give yourself grace. You will get through whatever you’re going through and come out on the other side.
Some of the best new mom advice is to reassure you that you are doing the best you can and you are meant to be your baby’s mom. Even on the hard days when you’re doubting yourself and your abilities, you deserve to speak to yourself kindly and be your biggest cheerleader.
11. Teach your baby to fall asleep on his own
This is hands down one of the best things you can do in the early baby days! If you do anything in the third trimester of pregnancy or early postpartum, take a sleep course and learn how to teach your baby to fall asleep independently.
My greatest party trick was being able to put my baby down awake and walk out of the room. Family members couldn’t believe it!
I always recommend taking the Newborn Class with Taking Cara Babies. It literally changed the sleep game for my family.
12. Develop your own parenting style
Just because a family member or friend did it this way, doesn’t mean you can’t try something different. I 100% think it’s helpful to know how others handle situations like nighttime wakings and tantrums, it’s up to YOU to decide how you handle it. You are the parent
13. It’s ok to grieve the loss of your independence
I think one of the least talked about things is the fact that your entire world changes when you have a baby. It seems like overnight you go from having complete freedom to do what you want, when you want to living by your baby’s schedule.
It is more than ok to grieve that loss of independence. You might even feel lonely too with you and your spouse probably focused more on the baby than on each other.
But like everything with kids, this is only a phase and you will quickly transition. Know that your feeling are completely valid but you will get through it!
14. Fed is best
There is an INSANE amount of pressure on moms to breastfeed their babies. I’m not against nursing at all but a stranger, your coworker or your mom’s best friend should nottt be asking you if you’re going to breastfeed or not. It’s literally none of their business.
Breastfeeding is an amazing way to feed your baby and comes with lots of benefits but that isn’t the case for all moms. Some babies won’t latch or mom’s milk supply isn’t strong enough. Or for me, it very negatively impacted my postpartum mental health to the point where it brought on a lot of postpartum anxiety. If something isn’t right for you as the mom, then it isn’t good for your baby either.
All of this to say, fed is best. No matter how you choose to feed your baby, be proud of it and know that there is no right or wrong way to feed your baby.
Related: Newborn Feeding Guide Guaranteed To Make You Feel More Confident As A New Mom
15. Babies cry
For some reason, I thought I was going to be the mom with the really well behaved kid who was always happy and never cried. Jokes on me!
But in all seriousness, babies cry to communicate their needs to you. After you spend enough time with your baby, you will learn the different cries such as for hunger or because he’s overtired.
I think just having the expectation that there will be crying will put you many steps ahead in motherhood and help you adjust to newborn life a little easier.
16. Nothing will go as planned and that’s ok
From here on out, you can expect things to go sideways more than not. The truth is, kids can be so unpredictable but that’s part of what makes them special.
My husband and I joke that we have to plan to leave at least 15 minutes before we really need to leave because inevitably there’s a dirty diaper that needs to be changed or our son spills milk down his shirt and needs an outfit change.
Newborn life brings blowouts and bottles and toddlers bring tantrums and spills. Plus there is always soo much to pack in the car. So expect the unexpected and you’ll be good to go!
17. All babies/kids are different
Literally every single baby and kid is different. This goes back to the social media as a highlight reel thing we talked about in #3.
It’s so common for new moms to worry that their baby isn’t crawling or walking soon enough, isn’t saying enough words yet or isn’t eating as many foods as another kid. It’s sooo easy to fall into that trap. And yes, it’s a trap.
As long as your doctor is happy with your baby’s height, weight and development, then there is nothing for you to worry about.
If I’ve learned anything from motherhood in two years it’s that babies and toddlers do things on their own timeline. My son walked before he crawled, started talking later than others but now says short sentences, and he still probably eats less foods than some babies. But he’s healthy and that’s all that matters!
18. Embrace the change in your interests
Your whole world changes when you have a baby and sometimes so do your interests. Your weekends become kid focused and you might prefer family movie nights over late night drinks and reading a book during nap time over shopping all day long. I’m not saying one hobby is better or worse with kids but sometimes a change in your interests is inevitable.
19. Get up before your baby
Once your baby is sleeping through the night, it can be helpful to choose a few days to wake up before him/her. Naps can be hit or miss with babies and even toddlers so having some dedicated quiet time in the morning can help set the mood for the day.
If your baby isn’t sleeping through the night, I recommend checking out Taking Cara Babies or Little Z’s Sleep for sleep classes. My family has used both and highly recommend them!
20. Embrace flexible routines
Having a solid routine in place can help simplify your life and give your day structure. Babies can be a little unpredictable in the first few months of life (and honesty so can toddlers).
A flexible wake window/nap schedule during the day is a great place to start. I stress the word flexible because each day will be slightly different and you will need to adjust. Your baby isn’t a robot after all.
I followed Taking Cara Babies’ recommended nap with my son and it was so helpful. You can click here for the routine for newborn to 4 months and here for 5 months through 25 months.
The next routine will be establishing a flexible bedtime routine. Taking Cara Babies has so many resources on their blog and in their courses to help you with this – I highly recommend it!
21. Start meal planning
I really recommend planning your dinners before you even step foot in the grocery store. Not only can this help you to save money by shopping the sales, but you will have a game plan going into the week. This simplifies things and takes the headache out of figuring out what to eat.
Tip: Cook double the amount of dinner so you can eat leftovers for lunch the next day too. It’s a win win!
22. Make smarter to do lists
I’m a big fan of brain dumps. A brain dump is when you make a big list of everrrything you need to do. But from there, I recommend making a separate daily to do list. On the daily to do list, include only a few realistic items to get done that day. You will feel good when you check off each item and you won’t end the day with ten things you didn’t accomplish.
23. Everything is a phase.
The phrase “the days are long but the years are short” is the most true thing when it comes to kids and motherhood. Sometimes it feels as though the tough patch you’re in right now will never end. I think of teething, night wakings and tantrums. But in reality, the tough days won’t last forever, although sometimes they feel like it.
This was the new mom advice I had to keep reminding myself of when I was really struggling or knew my baby was struggling.
24. Consciously choose where you put your time and energy
Your time isn’t just your own anymore. When you say “yes” to something, make sure you really mean it and you’re all in. Motherhood teaches us just how short time is and truly has led me to say “no” to so many more things than before.
This post is all about new mom advice.